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Literature Text
A strong silence
reverberated around
empty eyes
echoing
glowering grimaces
as they rose to their feet.
His future
swung like a pendulum
balancing its weight evenly
waiting to dock
when the time was right
for them though, not him.
So Shelley
scrambled his thoughts
trying not to let the walls
climb any higher
or push any closer
to his already suffocating chest.
Then the floor beneath
gave way,
smashing his fall
and numbing the pain
to where precisely,
he was at.
The hand cuffs
walked with him
strait-laced, cold company
marching in rigid embrace
to darkened prison
and a lonely life.
The full force
of his cell door locked,
ringing hollow
against internal screams
deafening the Jury's
unanimous verdict.
Guilty as charged!!
Only he knew
this was undoubtedly,
'A Travesty of Justice'..
AMY - whimsicalworks - 22/08/2011
reverberated around
empty eyes
echoing
glowering grimaces
as they rose to their feet.
His future
swung like a pendulum
balancing its weight evenly
waiting to dock
when the time was right
for them though, not him.
So Shelley
scrambled his thoughts
trying not to let the walls
climb any higher
or push any closer
to his already suffocating chest.
Then the floor beneath
gave way,
smashing his fall
and numbing the pain
to where precisely,
he was at.
The hand cuffs
walked with him
strait-laced, cold company
marching in rigid embrace
to darkened prison
and a lonely life.
The full force
of his cell door locked,
ringing hollow
against internal screams
deafening the Jury's
unanimous verdict.
Guilty as charged!!
Only he knew
this was undoubtedly,
'A Travesty of Justice'..
AMY - whimsicalworks - 22/08/2011
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© 2011 - 2024 whimsicalworks
Comments17
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Quote, "Then the floor beneath
gave way," End quote
For some reason this is my favorite part, mostly because it's very visual and the line break is flawless here because it's beneath the word beneath and so putting gave way under that makes perfect sense.
You've really gotten more fluid overall in your current work. If I correctly recall you used to be a victim of too-careful punctuation and you've just come a long way by letting your lines flow into the next line(s). In my work before I make a line break I write it in a sentence first to see if it sounds right, and what this does is makes it easier to decide where commas, etc. should go. Years ago I used to make breaks line after line and it would trick my mind into thinking the lines needed a comma, semicolon, etc. after them when they didn't. What tricks you into thinking this is because a break already makes for a pause as it is, so your mind processes that just maybe it's necessary to make a pause.
It's a mistake many make, one I don't think you're enslaved to that much anymore, so great job!
gave way," End quote
For some reason this is my favorite part, mostly because it's very visual and the line break is flawless here because it's beneath the word beneath and so putting gave way under that makes perfect sense.
You've really gotten more fluid overall in your current work. If I correctly recall you used to be a victim of too-careful punctuation and you've just come a long way by letting your lines flow into the next line(s). In my work before I make a line break I write it in a sentence first to see if it sounds right, and what this does is makes it easier to decide where commas, etc. should go. Years ago I used to make breaks line after line and it would trick my mind into thinking the lines needed a comma, semicolon, etc. after them when they didn't. What tricks you into thinking this is because a break already makes for a pause as it is, so your mind processes that just maybe it's necessary to make a pause.
It's a mistake many make, one I don't think you're enslaved to that much anymore, so great job!